okay so let me start off by just warning you that this post will have slim to none punctuation or proper grammar or carefully worded sentences basically this is just word vomit so if you would like to read then i apologize in advance
so basically i started reading the shoebox project last week which is the world’s best remus/sirius & james/lily fic ever written. like literally, ever. and there are truly marvelous ones out there, this just blows them all out of the water. it is so close to the characters personalities and it makes me cry and laugh out loud and it makes me do the thing i love best: not be able to stop reading.
sometimes a book just does not catch my eye, or does not hold my attention or i find myself falling asleep or my mind is straying to other things. of the 17 chapters i’ve read of this fanfiction so far - and they’re not short chapters - that never happened once. never. NEVER. not even when people reblogged some of my tumblr posts with rude things or i was bothered by outside things. this fanfiction is more than a fanfiction. it’s COMFORT.
i’m one chapter over being halfway done, and it’s not anything in the storyline that is making me feel this way, but i was just downstairs shoving laundry in the washer and shoving the cake in the oven and i was like hold on i am depressing myself so fucking much by reading this like james and lily are adorable but they DIE and that’s what makes their relationship so much more real, that there are beautiful writers like this who put so much depth into the background of harry’s parents and you start to feel like they’re major characters of the actual series and you get so attached to them and life is beautiful and nothing hurts and then you realize oh wait they fucking die like remus dies sirius dies peter is a traitor and then dies like this is not real life and then you realize harry potter isn’t real life but it’s all so sad like james ordered lily to run for her life when voldemort showed up and my cries he spent all his hogwarts years just trying to win her affection and they had such a short relationship together and now that i’ve read this fanfiction and seen how, in the authors mind, he won her over with poetry suggestions from remus and just altogether growing the fuck up once the whole snape in the willow incident occurred, i am just flabbergasted and awestruck because this story will now stick in my head forever as actual fiction-fact and i will read the harry potter books and read snape’s worst memory and see the marauders taking their OWL’s along with harry only i will look at them so differently because i know I KNOW i have read the shoebox project and i know all about them and what they do and the pranks they play and how they were obsessed with gideon and fabian’s book and i haven’t even read the whole thing yet what is to come and my heart just breaks in two thinking of remus and tonks “sleeping under the starry sky” and like guys don’t deny your homosexual love for each other and then remus thought his best friend might have been guilty of murdering his other friend for TWELVE YEARS and just this fandom and series is so fucking beautiful that it produces things like this and just oh my god so much love and sorrow in my heart at once like let me die but no don’t because it’s about to be a new year and my hands hurt from typing this why does fanfiction make me feel this way and then there’s so many funny references to other fiction in this story like there’s a wuthering heights dream scene and i’m supposed to meet my senior english teacher over break soon and we saw that movie in her class and she’ll be like so how’ve you been and i’ll be like oh i’m good guess what i just read “what?” a 26 chapter wolfstar fanfiction that had a wuthering heights scene “wtf…..”
just i think i’m done but ugh my heart is just poring over with endless emotion
happy new year everyone!